Reverse Culture Shock or My Final Blog Post (probably...)

Snow!

It’s been nearly two weeks since I have been back in the states after finishing my Peace Corps service.  This is likely to be my last blog post, but who knows, maybe something else will come up.

I got off the plane in Indianapolis in Chaco sandals and t-shirt… not the best clothing for Indianapolis on the day before Christmas Eve.  I dug some wool socks and a raincoat out of my suitcases and sprinted to the car with my Dad.  There was lots of snow on the ground. It was COLD.  Christmas and New Years are always socially and culturally intense times of year, so its only now, after the holidays that I am really beginning to adjust to being back in the States.

Christmas Eve with my family (photo taken with my new fansy-shmancy phone).

Christmas Day meal.

Playing Settlers of Catan.

There have been more than a few conversations where I felt like the topic was totally incomprehensible (mostly regarding social media and B level news stories) or utterly unimportant (mostly overwrought concerns regarding germs and catching colds).  After a few minor social faux pas, I have been trying to be more careful; just because my initial response to something is to view it as extraneous or irrelevant doesn’t mean it IS so.  Perhaps I need to give the topic the same gravity and consideration I gave the topics discussed in my community in Paraguay.

My Paraguayan snow man. Notice the tereré, belt, and PCPY hat. 

My first really fuerte moment of “reverse culture shock” was in the grocery store the day after Christmas.  I had been sent on an errand to pick up leeks and I got really overwhelmed in the produce section of the supermarket.  I still can’t pinpoint what rattled me so much, but it started when I was staring wide eyed at the greens section, and the sprinkler system turned on.  I jumped back in alarm only to find myself face to face with pineapples. Pineapples were the main crop in my community in Paraguay; they become ripe in the height of summer. But here I was, stuck between not only the pineapples, but mustard greens, oranges, lettuce, avocados and Brussels sprouts.  There was snow outside and yet all this diverse food available without any regard to its growing season or how far away from Indiana it must have started its journey.  This, and the utter, incomprehensible scale of the supermarket, flabbergasted me. I finally managed to grab the leeks and leave while unsuccessfully attempting to dodge the checkout clerk’s insistence on small talk and holiday greetings.  The whole thing was a very uncomfortable experience.  My plan now is to shop at Bloomingfoods and work my way up (although, why would I ever want to go anywhere else)!

Three of my most helpful “reintegration to American culture” activities have been:

• 1. Dancing! On my third night back (and every Wednesday since), I went to the weekly contra dance held by the Bloomington Old-Time Music & Dance Group.   I have been dancing with them off and on since high school (I show up after about 45 seconds in the video I linked to. Can you spot me?) .  Everything from the bluegrass and old time music to some of the gender bending, role switching dancers, was a wonderful reminder of so many of the things I love about the Midwest and Bloomington in particular.  I also went to a swing dance class held by my friend Josh at Rachael’s Café.  Dancing with him and the other students helped me realize that I haven’t lost any of my partner dancing skills in the past two years, and have probably (somehow) gotten better.

My new dance shoes!

• 2. IU Basketball!  A few days after Christmas, I went to an IU Men’s Basketball home game.  I have been going to games since I was just a townie kid, so everything, from the crowds, to the band, to the cheerleading was just so comfortingly familiar.  Plus, the Hoosiers are having an amazing season.

Hoosier Basketball game.

• 3. Food! My Dad has slowly been making some of my favorite foods that I have gone without for the past several years.  Flank steak, lemon veal, Brussels sprouts sautéed in butter, asparagus, fingerling potatoes, spicy green beans, barbecued salmon, curry, turkaleeky soup, etc.  Also, to reacquaint me with the other end of comida Americana my cousin David took me on a fast food crawl.  We went to several fast food joints around town, the highlights being Taco Bell quesadillas, soda, 5 Guys Cajun style French fries, and more soda.

Christmas meal: turkey, cranberries, sweet potatoes with marshmallows, stuffing, asparagus, and crescent roll. 

My mother, at my Bienvenido Hape, trying to enjoy maté.

I am spending most of my time searching for jobs.  Ideally I would like to work for the Federal Government on the East coast in Pennsylvania, New Jersey or New York.  I’m also looking at some grad schools, but I’m hesitant to go back to school unless I am very enthusiastic about the program.  Plus, despite my intelligence, I tend to do very poorly on tests.  I haven’t taken the GRE and I am frankly afraid to do so.  I said this in an earlier post, but if anyone has leads on jobs on the East coast, please let me know.

Me, looking dapper on New Years Eve.
Note: the earrings are Paraguayan ñandutí.

Farewell for now.  I hope my blog has been interesting, useful, and entertaining.  I’m always eager to talk about my Peace Corps experience to anyone who will listen.  If you are a prospective Volunteer, don’t hesitate to contact me (just leave a comment on any of the blog posts).  I’ll probably have more insight for prospective Volunteers who are heading to Latin America, agriculture Volunteers, or LGBT Volunteers.  I’ll be especially excited to talk to you if you’re lucky enough to be heading to the wonderful and unique country of Paraguay.

It's good to be home.

So What’s Going on Down There?

First off, let me reemphasize that any statements made here are my opinions and experiences alone and in no way reflect the position of the US Government, or of the Peace Corps.  I feel compelled to write this post in response to concerns by my friends and family about the situation in Paraguay.  I am going to do my best to simply explain the events and provide links to informative articles (some of which are on Wikipedia- not the most reliable, but handy for getting the gist of things), while avoiding any commentary on the politics involved.  Volunteers have been requested to avoid publicly giving opinions on the situation, and I want to abide by that request.

On Friday night, June 26^th, Paraguay experienced a rapid change in leadership (some are calling it a political coup).    Paraguay’s Senate voted to impeach President Lugo in a vote of 39 for and 4 against.  Amongst other things, they cited an event that had happened a few weeks earlier on June 15^th.  There was a clash (resulting in 17 deaths) between the police and landless farmers who were occupying land that had been given to the current owner under questionable legal circumstances by the dictator Alfredo Stroessner decades earlier.  Historically, Lugo’s presidency was significant in part because it was the first time that a “president from one party peacefully transferred power to another” ending over 60 years of rule by one party.

There is much controversy over the legality of the impeachment, in part due to the speed at which the whole thing took place.  Most people (including me while I was at a neighbors house trying out a new venenos caseros for her garden) heard about the plans for impeachment on Thursday morning.  By the time he was voted out on Friday night, he had had under 24 hours to prepare, and just two hours to mount a defense.  The vise president Federico Franco (who is of a different political party than Lugo), was sworn-in shortly thereafter.

So what does this mean?  Well, there are (mostly) peaceful protests centered in Asuncion, and more planed later this week all over the country.  Lugo is encouraging protesters to remain peaceful, but is not accepting the verdict. One concern that I have heard repeatedly is the well-founded worry that this might make Paraguay even more isolated (for a visual explanation of this see the map half way down this page).  Ambassadors have been called home from half a dozen South American governments.

I am safe.  Mostly, life is just going on as normal.  My neighbors still have their fields to hoe, and their cows to milk.  The only difference is that people are keeping their radios close and those few people with TVs are now very popular.  Like a telanovela, each development is discussed extensively over terere or if it’s a cold day, over mate.  Peace Corps Volunteers, of course, refrain from giving opinions on the situation so as to not strain relationships with host country nationals.

There are other things I wanted to talk about, but this post is heavy enough.  Future topics might include the challenge of being far away when there are deaths in the family (I have lost two grandparents in the past 4 moths), the fabulous craziness that is the festivalof San Juan (I am unfamiliar with the women’s games that are listed, but I definitely saw lots of fire soccer balls, burning effigies, and greased climbing poles at the party I went to), more angst on being lgbt and closeted, the possibility of maybe extending my time in Paraguay by a year, and the fact that my hens are FINALLY laying eggs.  So stay tuned!
**UPDATE: NPR did a story on Paraguay.  Here is the link.

Shock: Culture, Food, and the Potential International Appeal of Tereré

In Ann Arbor, on an industrially awesome swing.

After being out of the US for 20 months, I went on a two-week vacation to the States, spending a week in Bloomington, IN and a week in Ann Arbor, MI.  I head back to lovely Paraguay in a few days.

A few things about current American culture that I have learned about during my vacation:

• Instigram
• Siri
• Indiana's political mess, locally and statewide
• Occupy as explained to me by participants (not just news sites)
• Groupon (still unclear on this one)
• Dubstep
• Flexing
• The sad state of Wisconsin

Also, I forgot what its like to be surrounded by people who are JUST like me (family). For example, when we went out to eat at restaurants, we all ended up ordering the same dish… this happened three times, in three different restaurants.

In Bloomington, on my way to Contra Dance.

Aside from getting confused about where to put leftovers and empty containers, I have also been surprised by how much time people spend indoors.  In the US, our houses are much more enclosed than houses in Paraguay.  This is absolutely necessary due to the differences in climate and occupations (most people don’t have a bunch of farm animals to attend to).  But the stark divided between Indoors and Outdoors was something that I had not been cognitive of before living outside of the US.

One of the greater challenges I faced during my vacation was my inability to tune out other peoples conversations.  In Paraguay, because I actively have to work to understand Spanish or Guarani, it is easy to tune out other peoples conversations when on the bus or in a store.  But in the US, I can’t just opt-out of overhearing and comprehending a conversation I have no interest in.  I don’t WANT to know about some stranger's awkward faux pas with a coworker, but I have no choice in the matter.  It makes my brain a much nosier place.

The last cultural shock thing I’ll mention is about the difference in scale.  Walking around Lowe's, Target and Kroger's completely blew my mind. They are just so BIG and full of stuff.  It was really overwhelming and not in a good way.  Walking around a Supper 6 in Asuncion after being in site for a month can sometimes be trying, but it doesn't feel as needlessly massive as these other stores.

Flank steak with my Dad's homemade hot sause, local green beans with spicy mustered sause, and local new potatoes. Yum. 

OH, one more thing: FOOD.  Dang I love food in the USA.  I have been eating well and often in the US!  I had delicious home cooked meals made by my Dad.  He basically cooked all the foods that I have been really missing (mushrooms, flank steak, mixed greens, potatoes, etc.), and my friends Emily and Micah have been taking me to some of the incredible restaurants that Ann Arbor has to offer…. including South Indian food! Yum!  However in between my various delicious flavorful meals, I have been drinking plenty of tereré.  To my delight my family and Micah and Emily have been joining in as well… just in time for summer in the States.

In a few days I head back to Paraguay where winter has apparently arrived with a vengeance.  Guess Ill be switching from tereré to mate ….

Bigots Deserve Access to Development Workers Too

Ña Annastasia showing the abonos verde carnavalia intercropped with mandioca (This photo is completely unrelated to this blog post... but I like it anyways).

I looked at my facebook page recently, and I realized just how… well, gay it had become.  Well over half the links I post are about equal rights, and lgbt news stories.  It didn’t used to be that way.  In the States, due to my open-minded community, loving family and accepting college town, being queer was not something I thought about that much.  It simply wasn’t a big deal. I rarely considered if and how being queer influenced my interactions with people, my safety, or my future.  Liking women (and men) was part of who I was, but it wasn’t a big part. Occasionally I might sign a petition or speak up in a conversation if it seemed necessary, but all-in-all I was very casual in my lgbt identity. Because it was rarely something I felt ostracized for, it was never something about which I sought support.  But as a Peace Corps volunteer, I have to be closeted in site in order to productively do the development work I came here to do.  So now, perhaps due to being closeted, if I’m lucky enough to have an internet signal, I find myself trolling Huffington Post Gay news section for hopeful or shocking news stories.  I have started to closely follow equal rights issues in the states (ex: repeal of DADT, North Carolina amendment banning same-sex marriage, President Obama public support for marriage equality). I have become more interested in the advancement of equal rights and acceptance because I now feel the lack of them.  Ironically, having to hide my sexuality has made my sexuality more central to my identity.

One of the absolute most important reasons to be out, is that people begin to revise their bigoted opinions, when they realize they actually personally know someone who is gay.  When it comes to votes, and rights, they realize that their actions will directly affect someone one they know as a person, not just as a sexuality.  One of the questions I struggled with for a while, was why doesn’t this apply in Paraguay?  Shouldn’t I open here for the same reason I’m open in Indiana?

I realized that it doesn’t apply because as an agriculture volunteer, I am here to work with everyone who has degraded soil on their farm.  Bigots deserve access to development workers too.  There are already so many barriers to over come to get someone to try something new on their farm, why add something else?  I’m not Catholic, but I don’t advertise that to the community for the same reason.  In order to work with as many people as I can, I want to present as few barriers as possible.  If I were to come out at the end of my service, or several years from now when I come back for a visit, the community will know me as a person.  They will know the work I did.  They will have to reconcile, the person they know with the sexuality they object to.

By not being out, I am able to reach more people and be more effective.  But it means I am not able to be a resource for the lgbt youth and adults that live in the community.  No one is out, but I have my suspicions about a few folks.  I can’t be a role model for them, because they don’t know what we have in common.  I can’t come out to them, because it could compromise my position in the community (one well-worn strategy for deflecting suspicion off your self is to become an out-spoken homophobic ass (ex: Ted Haggard, George Rekers, etc).  This is the hardest part about not being out in site.

There is gay rights movement in Paraguay.  Things are changing especially amongst the youth and in the larger towns and cities.  But out here in the campo, there is still a long way to go. Poco a poco, I guess.

I am about to head back to the States for a much needed vacation.  I had heard it said that things pick up in the second year, and that is definitely what has happened for me.  I am involved in things at site.  There are things I wish I spent less time doing (English classes), and things I wish I spent more time doing (abonos verdes, gardens).  But I’m just glad to feel kind of busy for once.  Every so often there are mile stones, that I don’t always write about.  For example, an old host brother of mine, shyly ask me for information on STI and condoms.  I was delighted that he trusted me enough to ask for the information, and did my best to bombard him with the information I had (especially sense health isn’t my sector).  Its been 20 months since I came to Paraguay and I have undergone many changes here.  I know my two week vacation is not enough time to really find out, but wonder how those changes will effect my interaction with American culture.

See you soon America.

(Sorry, this is not my best written or focused blog post.  I promise I’m full of ligament excuses.  But I figured I should post it now, and take advantage of the good internet while I could).

Fiesta Patronal, Semana Santa and Chipa

Its been a busy few months at site, so I don’t have a proper blog post for you.  This will be a blog post in photo form, with a few clarifying comments for each photo.  The first 6 photos are from the Fiesta Patronal (Patron Saints Day) for my community.  San Jose, March 19th.  The other 8 photos are from Semana Santa (Holy Week).  Thats they week leading up to easter, which in many Latin American countries, is actually more important than Easter Sunday itself.

Fiesta Patronal

I included this photo because of the grain plants on the priest's stole. Super appropriate for such an agricultural society.

The babys of the community got baptized.  Their families are so proud

The women of the community cooking lots of food for everyone.  They were really flattered that I wanted to photograph them while they worked.  Cooking is something they take pride in, but it is not very frequently acknowledged.

So much food!

Na Oheniea and some of her grand children.

Now on to Semana Santa... and CHIPA!

We made the traditional food for Semana Santa: chipa.

      

Look! My name in chipa!

This is a tatakua.  Basically a brick oven especially for Paraguayan specialties... like chipa.

Baking the chipa.

More chipa...

On the Thursday of Semana Santa (the biggest meal of the week), I ate dinner with my favorit host family.

A modest but delicious spread of bbq chicken, sopa paraguaya (not actually a soup), mandioca (yucca) and soda.  After lunch we snacked on... you guessed it: chipa.

Everything is Falling Into Place

This is an I’m-so-freaking-happy-in-my-community blog entry.

I have been having these days recently, where I just feel pleased and hopeful about my role here (its not perfect, see end of post). It’s great to feel that way, and so I thought I should write a little blog post about it. After a year and 2 month in site, here is what’s going on.

Language

My language has gotten to the point where I can really talk to people, and joke, and be fairly honest about my thoughts and feelings on topics. Not only has my Spanish improved dramatically (still hopeless at Guaraní, but that deserves a whole other, not nearly as uplifting, blog post), but the families I work with the most, know the idiosyncrasies of my language patterns, and therefor usually understand me when I’m butchering my way through an explanation. I have also attuned well enough to what is culturally appropriate to talk about, and what conversations I might need to steer clear of. Although, perhaps I am overly cautious when it comes to topics of sexuality.

Integration

I have been here long enough that I am not longer real exciting. I still have my strange extranjera ways, but people have gotten used to them by now. People still see and comment on everything I do, everywhere I go, and everything I buy or throwaway, but to a certain extent they do that to their neighbors too. Plus, now I also stare back at people. Finally, I have gotten to the point in my integration and language ability, that when I feel lonely or sad I don’t have to hid in my house (although sometimes I do), I can go find a neighbor I feel close to and talk and relax for awhile. It doesn’t feel like work, it feels like friendship.

Work

While I’m still not doing as much “work” in my community as I would like to be doing, several things are beginning to gain momentum. Most people are interested in my advice on small things. Most of the work I manage to do is one-on-one, rather than large charlas (meeting/lecture). My summer English class is going well, mainly because the only students who bother to show up are the ones who REALLY want to learn. I built two more fogons (fuel efficient cook stoves) recently. I had helped build seven of them back in August with some high schoolers who came to my community for a month via the organization Amigos de las Americas.

But this time around it was just a Peace Corps project. I built one this past month with the family it was intended for, and my friend Nate (fellow volunteer and fogone building extraordinaire). The second fogone, just me and the family built.

I was worried about how this would go, but it ended up being a wonderful time. One of the girls in the family used to be my host sister so we are already pretty close. At first she watched and helped out in peripheral ways, like serving terere, and refilling the mescala (red dirt and cement) buckets. Next she started handing me bricks, and by the time we got to the chimney, she started laying the bricks down herself. She had seen her brother, father and I laying bricks the day before, and finally she wanted to try and do it herself. Bricklaying is definitely outside of normal gender roles for girls, so this felt like a victory of sorts. There needs to be more options for work if girl in the campo doesn’t want to exclusively do domestic labor all day. She was good at the job too. I, and other volunteers, are constantly doing things outside of our expected gender roles (males-cooking their own meals, cleaning their own clothes, females-bricklaying). It was interesting see the influences of those actions first hand.

It’s not always sunny in Punta Suerte (actually with the drought its always freaking sunny, damn it).

Clearly I am happy in site. When people ask me (and the do… all the time) “Are you happy in Paraguay?” I can honestly answer yes. But sometimes its hard to be here. Sometimes I feel cut off from life in the states. Life and friends and family are passing me by while I’m stuck in Paraguay talking about how hot it is for the hundredth time this week. I’m tired of constantly having minor health problems that leave me feeling run down. I am tired of the planning involved in timing my trips to Santani well enough to insure that I have enough food (especially now that its summer and so my garden is almost completely dead. Its possible to do summer gardens but the drought has made it very difficult). I’m tired of the heat… my god, the heat. In addition to the drought, San Pedro has also had an outbreak of food-and-mouth disease... a double whammy of sorts. I’m sick of the damn frogs taking over my house and pooping everywhere (I trapped about 20 in a bag, but couldn’t bring myself commit frog genocide as suggested by my neighbor, so I walked down the road and released them). I miss the ease, convenience and comfort of life in the States.

But I’m so glad I’m here. There is nothing else I would rather be doing with my life right now. I only hope I’m able to give to my community a fraction of what its given me.